Skeletons in the Armoire

Old friends can be trouble. A friend of mine is visiting next week from SoCal (gah...who thinks he's hip?) and I'm going to spend a coupla days with her. I think she's probably the second oldest friend I have. We knew each other for awhile in HS, but it wasn't until we were seniors hat we really started hanging out with each other. I think she's the only person I've met so far who I could see marrying...... But she's Ba'hai, and isn't interested in changing religions. So it's "complicated" when we hang out. I really value the experiences we've shared and stuff, but talking with her and being with her drags up some very uncomfortable feelings. But.... I love her. Not love LOVE, but I like the way I feel when we hang out. She's comfortable to be around, like an old shirt you used to wear every other day because it was your "cool" shirt. But then fashions change and you don't wear it anymore. But sometimes, whenever you need it, the old shirt still in the back of your closet, and it still fits, and it's still comfortable. Our relationship isn't ever going to go anywhere, but strangely enough whenever she talks about having a boyfriend, I start feeling angry and jealous. I chock it up to hormones.... Still, I'm glad she's coming over. We need witnesses to our lives, -----and I can't do this, write some stupid sentimental tripe about friendship.... Friends suck, they know about you at your worst, they have dirt on you, they know your vices and sins............ I miss my friends. I think I have 1...2.....4.... friends. I have a number of acquaintances who I can hang out with if I'm bored, but they aren't my friends. I love my friends. I don't think we admit to ourselves enough that we love things. I know I didn't until I finally pulled my head outa my bum. I'll always love my friends, they'll always have a place at my table (when I get a table that is) till death or the 2nd coming.

To all my friends: I miss you.