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This whole waiting thing is starting to affect my life in a strange way. I'm not really as fixated on it as I was a week ago, but I still feel really weird about it. I stare out windows more, I'm easily distracted, I have a hard time getting myself to do work. uuurrrrmmmmmm

Not much is happening 'round now. Work is gearing up for christmas (the season starts as soon a halloween is over) . I think they should pay us more during christmas, it's alot harder. Sorta looking forward to it, and kinda dreading it at the same time.

Half Way

Midterms have ended. Did as I always do.

Rosa Parks

In Memorium

I consider Rosa Parks to be one of my few role models. She's one of those people which history hinges on. Her actions and her subesequent role in the civil rights movement make her a titan in the cultural psyche of america. I admire her for her bravery, her willingness to take a stand against the powers of a corrupt government. I admire her for her sense of propriety, others have exploited their historical celebrity, but she had a sense of grace and prescence that she used to advocate in sensible ways. She was a woman of great beauty and importance. America owes her a great debt and I hope for all our sakes that her legacy leaves a lasting mark on our country.

Cha-cha-cha-changes

Weather is starting to take a turn for the cooler. It's started to dip into the low seventies and it's supposed to rain next week. You can feel winter coming- bones are all tingley.

Some decent games are finally coming out for the PSP, got X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse and have been fairly addicted to it. More cool stuff like a Lord of the Rings Tactical RPG is coming out in Nov. Finally, some decent apps.

My work is gearing up for christmas. We've started selling christmas books for kids already--and people are buying them. I miss the time it when christmas started after thanksgiving, everything had it's proper place. Now we start getting christmas stock in September. Lame.

Moving On Up

Helped my sister move today. Wheeeee.

Still in a dark mood, still waiting for a letter from Wheaton.

*Boing*

I am wound pretty tight. Pretty darn tight. I really slammed my Dad today, sorta feel bad about it now.

Weather is absoutely perfect. I'm gonna have to spend some time outside tomorrow.

I just realized I only know the names of two of my prof.s this year.

Babysat

Watched my nephew this morning and afternoon. I must admit that I'm getting really attached to the little guy. He can't really do much (10 months old), but he's pretty adept at communicating his wants/needs. Fell asleep on me while I read a book to him.

I messed my back up pretty good yesterday doing side crunches. Something went *crink* and then I couldn't straighten my back for a coupla minutes without screaming. Ended up in a rictus on my bedroom floor the rest of the night. Feels better now but still a bit tender.

"Ollie"

Two Thursdays ago I went to a off-site book signing as part of my job. Turns out that the book signing was at a "Conservative Rally." I typically align myself with conservative dogmas, but the people at this thing were freak'n radicals. So I sat in the back of the crowd with the pile of books listening to people heaping venom and malice upon various factions of the government and society. I sorta agreed with what they were saying, but they took stuff to bizzarre extremes and were downright rude at times. The radio jockeys who introduced Oliver North to the stage cracked a joke about how "if they're any liberals in the crowd security is gonna find you strip you naked and stack you like Iraqis." Poor taste. But the crowd laughed.

Olive North turned out to be a charming man for being such a historically guileful person. I mean, the guy is part of history so it was kinda strange to see him. He spoke about the war in Iraq and the sacrafices of the soldiers which got me all teared up. Then Sean Hannity took the stage and proceeded to mock people for the next 45 minutes so I kinda tuned things out.

I know I'm doing a disservice to the people at the rally to stereotype them but I'd like to go ahead and do that anyways. Almost completely rich, white, and I'd assume upper-middle class cuz they had the $250 dollars to burn to be there. A portion of them by the end were roaring drunk (they were serving alcohol, brillaint). As with most radicals some of them had odd ticks and mannerisms.

After Oliver North signed his books I had the "chance" to meet him. He came around and shook everyone's hands from the Barnes & Noble crew. I got angry around here because if even half the stuff they say is true about the guy, that he thinks the means justify the ends, that laws can be broken on a whim, that it's okay to sell arms to terrorist groups of personal gain (he supposedly accepted bribes), this is not the sorta person who should be in the army, not the srota person who should be speaking at a rally. On top of that one of his bodyguards insinuated that I should give him a book because he had let me. That is, he had said" Ok, go on through" when I had showed up to work at the rally. I hate it when junk lke that happens, people assume I owe them something, that I'm somehow subserviant to them because of their position. Raises my ire like no other.

Overall the evening woke me up to the ugliness of radicalism in our society, and how such factions make up cults of personality for disreputable persons.

What Went Wrong

Turns out my brake fluids had sprung a leak....... That's gonna cost me 'bout a hundred dollars. Not too bad all things considered.

All I did today was clean my room and fall asleep on my floor. Not having a car sucks.

Come To a Full & Complete Stop

I'm a freak'n-unbelievabley good driver. How do I know this? My brakes went out while on my way to school today- and I didn't crash and die. My little red brake light indicator went on and I thought "Huh, that isn't good." Then at a stop sign I noticed that my brakes were getting "soft," and then they went out. I learned very quickly how to use my emergency brakes and gear shifting to stop my car. NOT FUN. Kinda cool in a freak out sorta way, but I could've seriously hurt myself (and others). I pretty good with that sorta stuff, sudden emergencies.

I'm kinda afraid what this is gonna cost me.

Gave a speech yesterday in Speech class that went very well.

I gave blood today so I'm real sleepy..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............. *thump*

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Steven!

Cinema

Went to a movie for this first time in a long while. It was either "Corpse Bride" or "Serentiy" so I saw "Serenity" 'cuz I figured "Corpse Bride" would hang around in theatres a bit longer.

"Serenity" is a scifi film that's a continuation of the television show "Firefly" which was cancelled by Fox 'bout two years ago (pretty sure). I've never seen the TV show but i'd heard good things about the film so I decided "meh, why not?"

In short, it was one of the better films I've seen this year. There were some hokey bits (why would a man fight with a sword if it's supposed to be the bleeding future?), but it had some serious heft and emotional depth as well. Even though I really didn't know who the characters were, 'cuz I've never seen the tv show, I became somewhat attached to them. There is a very real sense of fear that permeates the movie, the villains are terrible creatures that don't pull punches, and you sincerely feel that anyone might get offed. I'd sincerely say that anyone who's even playing with the idea of the seeing the film should give in and check it out. It's well worth your time.

I went to a conservative rally yesterday (to work) and shook Oliver North's hand. More on that after I've digested what happened.

Bit Early

I was driving home and I saw some neighbors putting up lights on their house. Halloween lights. They put up a eight foot flashing ghost, and a 6 foot in diameter fhlashing pumpkin along w/assorted house trimmings. I have no problem excepting most alternative lifestyles, but this one is giving me some trouble.

Blew a hole in my colon.......

I'm in so much pain. My mother made a salad that had some atrocious chicken sausage, hardboiled eggs, and soy beans in it. I have been passing so much gass. It's outa control. I don't know what to do. It hurts, it smells, and it's uncomfortable. I could plug myself into a grill and cook a steak.

Today was the "first wind" of the year. I was sitting outside at school, and a great wind picked up and blew my papers all over the place. It seems like it hasn't let up yet. I enjoy this part of the year the most. The holidays are coming, it's getting cooler, I can wear whatever I want, and the fact that I don't have AC in my car doesn't matter anymore.

Things are looking up for the J-Man. Except in his colon where things are coming down.

Final (sorta) Goodbyes

The Suesoffs are leaving on Wednesday. I went to their goodbye party on Sat. I had mixed emotions about the whole thing. Mr. Suesoff looked like he was about to start crying, he was in a sorta daze. His family has lived on the same land for four generations, and his some of his friend's fathers were friends with his father (I hope that make sense). Mrs. Suesoff was all dribbly, the kinds seemed fairly nonchalant about the whole thing. Tatiana (oldest daughter) was there, hadn't seen in her like three years. It was because of her that I took up tap, swing, and all that other PA stuff. It was a trip seeing her, she looked different but sounded the same, had fun talking to her. I had a giganto crush on her in jr. high and also in high school.

Going to dinner with them and my parents later today, hopefully I'll be visiting their new place in Kansas if/when I get accepted to Wheaton (It's on the way).